New Home For SMS Fun – FunSMS.WS April 26, 2007
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FunSMS.WS is the New home for all the SMS Jokes and Fun. Bookmark it today.
Check out the FunSMS Blog .
TXT & SMS CHAT UP LINES June 16, 2006
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TXT & SMS CHAT UP LINES 
THESE LINES NEVER FAIL
-
☻Put your crash helmet on, you’re going through the head board.
-
☻Do you believe in love at first sight…or do I have to walk by again?
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☻There’s a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!
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☻I’m not Fred Flintstone but i can make your bedrock!
-
☻Wanna play
Pearl Harbor? That’s where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me. -
☻Hey let’s go fuck and do the talking later.
- ☻Girl, how long have you been in the oven, cause I know I felt something rising.More SMS CHAT UP LINES – Click Here
SMS Greetings June 16, 2006
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SMS Greetings
| ☻BLINKING STARS |
| FreNz r 4-evER liKE E starS taT kePt blinkin In E sky. THoUgh we MighT b Far Apart.. BUt I noE taT u r Still Near 2 Me WhnEveR I look up… Gd nite N sleep TiTE |
| ☻ TIME TO SLEEP |
| LyinG oN mY BeD, LoOkiN @ ThE CloCk, I nOe tAt iTs timE 2 zzz. I WonDeR HoW hAv U bEEn todaY… HopE Tat EveryTHinG is FInE.. WiSh u sweeT dReaMz n Sleep TiGhT! |
| ☻ MORNING GREETING |
| Morning greetings doesn’t only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day! |
| ☻ MORNING GIFT |
| Receive my simple gift of ‘GOOD MORNING’ wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care! |
More SMS Greetings – Click Here
Picture Msgs by SMS – ASCII SMS June 16, 2006
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Note : Some of the following content contains adult material. It may offend you.
_______________________________________
Ciao /)/)
(‘.’)
——(,,)-(,,)-
_________________________________________
##___ I I ##
##_ )o=I ) ##
## I I I I ##
################
##___ / / ##
##_ )I ) ##
## I It t ##
################
///////
( o o)
–ooO-( )-Ooo–
Tut mir leid!
o,,,o /),/)
( ‘ ; ‘ ) ( ‘ ; ‘ )
(,,)–(,,)(,,)–(,,)
U’n me forever..
and ever and ever!
/)) /))
(,’ ) (,’ )
,,(,,,,)c=(,,,,)o,,
/)) /))
(,’ ) (,’ )
,,(,,,,)=(,,,,)o,,,,
More ASCII SMS- Click Here
What If SMS Msgs June 16, 2006
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What If SMS Msgs
☻if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u
☻If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!
More What If SMS Messages – Click Here
Police Jokes June 16, 2006
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Police Jokes
☻I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
☻im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me “possession of good looks”.i’m doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!
More Police Jokes – Click Here
Q & A Jokes June 16, 2006
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Q & A Jokes
☻Q. WHY DID SANTA SING TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES WHILE WRITING EXAMS?
A. COZ IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PAPER”ANSWER IN BRIEF.
☻Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF LAZINESS?
A. A COUPLE ADOPTING A CHILD.
☻Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF POSSESSIVENESS?
a. constiPATION.
☻Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HER HUSBAND IS EVERY NIGHT?
A. WIDOW
☻Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA ANDERSON?
For the Answer and More SMS Q and A Jokes – Click Here
Clinton Jokes June 16, 2006
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|
Clinton Jokes |
| ☻Q : What was yesterday’s Washington Post Headline? A : Bush Beats Clinton |
For More SMS Jokes Click Here
Animal Jokes June 16, 2006
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|
Animal Jokes |
| ☻When geese fly in a “V”, why is one side longer? Because there are more geese on that side |
| ☻Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work |
| For More SMS Jokes and Funny Text Messages Click Here |
Reason Why Jokes June 16, 2006
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Reason Why Jokes
☻REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children 4)any guy can get a good lookin dog!
☻3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds!
☻Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market!
☻Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!
☻Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of crap
☻5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
For More SMS Jokes and Funny Text Messages Click Here
Pick Up Lines June 16, 2006
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Pick Up Lines
☻Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
☻I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
☻I’m good at math, U+I=69
☻I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
☻Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s.
More SMS Pick up Lines – Click Here
Word Play SMS June 16, 2006
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Word Play SMS
☻Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
☻Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: “noh ss!w !”. it didn’t make much sense until i read it upside down…
☻MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
For More Word Play SMS Click Here
Put-downs June 16, 2006
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Put-downs SMS
☻You do sure have a lot of Well-wishers. They’d all like to throw you down one…☻Somebody said to me that you ain’t fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.For More Word Play SMS Click Here
TEXT SMS INSULTS June 16, 2006
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TEXT SMS INSULTS
KILL THAT LOSER WITH SOME CRACKING TXT INSULTS
| ☻Them: You: |
Here’s 10p – go and tell your mum you’re not coming home Here’s a pound – go and buy yourself some breath freshener |
| ☻Haven’t I seen your face before – on a police poster? Look who’s talking – I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out. |
| ☻I think the sun shines out of your arse. Well, you’re living proof that even a turd can be polished. |
| ☻Let’s be honest with each other . . . we’ve both come here for the same reasons. Yes, you’re right. Let’s go and pull some girls. |
| ☻Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today |
| ☻Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing |
| For More Text SMS Insults – Click Here |
Funny Phrases June 16, 2006
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Funny SMS Phrases
☻As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition☻She’s angrier than a Bear with a sore head☻She’s dressed up like a Dogs dinner
☻About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.
For more SMS Funny Phrases – Click Here
Come backs June 16, 2006
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Come backs - SMS
☻Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.☻Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized. ☻Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down. ☻Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants.☻Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking…for a Gorilla, that is… ☻Do you notice how I’ve kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see…all spotty☻Man: Your place or mine?
To See The Funny Answer and more SMS Come Backs Visit- FunPost.Net
One Liners June 16, 2006
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One Liners
☻Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly…well enough about ME! How are you?
☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
☻How do u occupy an idiot? Press down – Press up…Press Down…!
☻***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1
… No Strings attached
…but for a limited period ONLY!
…A bloody good deal!
☻Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H
☻FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated…calibration complete, now searching…..still searching….still searching……sorry, no friends found.
☻Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I’ll tel U l8r.
More SMS One Liners- Click Here
Silly Quotes June 16, 2006
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SMS Silly Quotes
☻Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature
☻All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
☻if barbie is so popular….then y do u have 2 buy her friends?
☻I intend to live forever- so far so good
For More SMS Silly Quotes visit Fun Post
Blonde Jokes June 16, 2006
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|
Blonde Jokes |
| ☻Q : Why are blonde jokes so short? A : So men can remember them. |
| ☻Q : Why do men like blonde jokes so much? A : Because they can understand them |
| ☻Q : How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle? A : Shine a flashlight in their ear. |
| ☻Q : What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A : They’re both empty from the neck up. |
| ☻Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? |
For a hundred more Blonde SMS Jokes visit Fun Post
Nursery Jokes June 16, 2006
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Nursery Jokes
☻Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you prat i live in a flat so how the damn do i know.
☻Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
☻Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned it into nylon
☻Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!
For More SMS Jokes Visit – FunPost
Mama Jokes June 16, 2006
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Mama Jokes
☻Yo Star Trek nerd so hairy she make Chewbacca look like Jean Luc Picard.
☻Your house is so disgusting that I tripped over a rat, got bitten by a tarantula and to top it off – the cockroaches nicked ma wallet…
☻I saw Yo mama at the freak show petting the world’s largest wilderbeast.
For a Hundred More Yo MAMA Jokes Click Here
Marriage Jokes June 16, 2006
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Marriage Jokes
☻Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!).☻Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
☻A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. ☻A woman was telling her friend , “It was I who made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, ” A multi-millionaire”.☻There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation – “If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels.”
☻Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. ☻Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.☻Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
For the Answer and more Marriage Jokes Visit- FunPost
Crude Jokes June 16, 2006
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Crude Jokes
☻Kiss’s r blown + kiss’s r wasted kiss’s rnt kiss’s unless they r tasted, kiss’s spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated! ☻How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
☻last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky…. then I thought where the fuck is my roof??
☻mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right nowcos its got foot and mouth☻What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop
☻This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you
For More SMS and TXT Jokes Visit – FunPost
Cool Jokes June 16, 2006
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Cool SMS Jokes
|
☻ MATCHES |
| MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes… It’s working. |
|
☻KNOWING YOURSELF |
| Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. |
|
☻ WHO YOU TRUST |
| There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. |
|
☻GRATEFUL |
| Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. |
For More Cool SMS Jokes and Funny TXT Visit – FunPost
Adult Jokes June 16, 2006
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Adult SMS Jokes
☻Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!
☻Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up
above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let
me suck you, dont feel shy.
☻Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
For More Mature Jokes Visit – FunPost
Love Jokes June 16, 2006
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Love Jokes
☻YOUR SMILE
|
☻ WHO YOU ARE |
| I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. |
|
☻ I’M STILL ALIVE… |
| TaLk 2 me wHen i’m boReD, kiSS me wHen i’m saD, hug me wHen i cRy, caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me When i’m sTill Alive… |
|
☻ IN LOVE WITH YOU |
| It is not being in love that makes me happy… but is being in love with YOU that makes me happy. |
|
☻ TRULY LOVE |
| It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don’t ever let go. |
|
☻ CHER|SH… |
| Cherish the person you love, never tell lies or attempt to hurt them because you won’t know how important they are until they are out of your life… |
For More Love SMS – Visit FunPost
Erotic Jokes June 16, 2006
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Erotic Jokes
| ☻3 GOOD MANNERS |
| 3 good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance. |
| ☻MISTAKES |
| Learn from your parents’ mistakes – Use birth control! |
For more SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost
Sex Jokes June 16, 2006
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| ☻SEX |
| SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U’ll enjoy it! I’ll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u. |
| ☻SEX ON TEXT |
| Press down… down more… Ok more… YES ahh ohh yes… almost there… yeah oh shit harder… SO GOOD…! mmmmm… That’s how I sex on text! |
| ☻YOU ARE WANTED |
| The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking… So where are you gonna hide Me? |
| ☻TALKING DIRTY |
| When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute. |
For More SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost
Indecent Jokes June 16, 2006
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Indecent Jokes
☻ This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again…… Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!
☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well…Enough about ME! How about you?☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!☻ sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temtation, putting his location in a woman’s destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
For More SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost
Funny Jokes June 16, 2006
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☻We will now upgrade your brain, please wait….Searching….searching…still searching….sorry,NO BRAIN found…!☻I’M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I’M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING
☻
All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.☻If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
☻When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.
For More SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – Visit FunPost
Friendship Jokes June 16, 2006
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| ☻FRIENDSHIP TEST… |
| thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN’t cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe… |
| ☻FRIENDS |
| True friends are like Diamonds… they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves… they are scattered everywhere. |
For more SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost
Funniest Pun SMS Jokes :) May 31, 2006
Posted by Anonymous in Pun SMS Jokes.1 comment so far
- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
- A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. - Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
- Prison walls are never built to scale.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- When one is afflicted with loss of balance they never quite know vertigo.
- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
:)
- For more SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost
