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New Home For SMS Fun – FunSMS.WS April 26, 2007

Posted by Anonymous in Funny sms Jokes.
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FunSMS.WS is the New home for all the SMS Jokes and Fun. Bookmark it today.

Check out the FunSMS Blog .

TXT & SMS CHAT UP LINES June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Text Chat up Lines.
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TXT & SMS CHAT UP LINES ;) THESE LINES NEVER FAIL

  • ☻Put your crash helmet on, you’re going through the head board.

  • ☻Do you believe in love at first sight…or do I have to walk by again?

  • ☻There’s a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

  • ☻I’m not Fred Flintstone but i can make your bedrock!

  • ☻Wanna play
    Pearl Harbor? That’s where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.

  • ☻Hey let’s go fuck and do the talking later.

  • ☻Girl, how long have you been in the oven, cause I know I felt something rising.More SMS CHAT UP LINES – Click Here

SMS Greetings June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in SMS Greetings, Uncategorized.
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SMS Greetings

BLINKING STARS
FreNz r 4-evER liKE E starS taT kePt blinkin In E sky. THoUgh we MighT b Far Apart.. BUt I noE taT u r Still Near 2 Me WhnEveR I look up… Gd nite N sleep TiTE
TIME TO SLEEP
LyinG oN mY BeD, LoOkiN @ ThE CloCk, I nOe tAt iTs timE 2 zzz. I WonDeR HoW hAv U bEEn todaY… HopE Tat EveryTHinG is FInE.. WiSh u sweeT dReaMz n Sleep TiGhT!
MORNING GREETING
Morning greetings doesn’t only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
MORNING GIFT
Receive my simple gift of ‘GOOD MORNING’ wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

More SMS Greetings – Click Here

Picture Msgs by SMS – ASCII SMS June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in ASCII SMS, Uncategorized.
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Note : Some of the following content contains adult material. It may offend you.

_______________________________________

Ciao /)/)
(‘.’)
——(,,)-(,,)-

_________________________________________

##___ I I ##
##_ )o=I ) ##
## I I I I ##
################
##___ / / ##
##_ )I ) ##
## I It t ##
################

///////
( o o)
–ooO-( )-Ooo–
Tut mir leid!

o,,,o /),/)
( ‘ ; ‘ ) ( ‘ ; ‘ )
(,,)–(,,)(,,)–(,,)
U’n me forever..
and ever and ever!

/)) /))
(,’ ) (,’ )
,,(,,,,)c=(,,,,)o,,

/)) /))
(,’ ) (,’ )
,,(,,,,)=(,,,,)o,,,,

More ASCII SMS- Click Here

What If SMS Msgs June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Uncategorized, What If SMS?.
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What If SMS Msgs

if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u

If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!

More What If SMS Messages – Click Here

Police Jokes June 16, 2006

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Police Jokes

I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me “possession of good looks”.i’m doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!

More Police Jokes – Click Here

Q & A Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Q & A Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Q & A Jokes
Q. WHY DID SANTA SING TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES WHILE WRITING EXAMS?

A. COZ IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PAPER”ANSWER IN BRIEF. 

Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF LAZINESS?

A. A COUPLE ADOPTING A CHILD.

Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF POSSESSIVENESS?

a. constiPATION.

Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HER HUSBAND IS EVERY NIGHT?

A. WIDOW

Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA ANDERSON?

For the Answer and More SMS Q and A Jokes – Click Here

Clinton Jokes June 16, 2006

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Clinton Jokes

Q : What was yesterday’s Washington Post Headline?
A : Bush Beats Clinton   
    

For More SMS Jokes Click Here

Animal Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Animal sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Animal Jokes

 When geese fly in a “V”, why is one side longer?
 Because there are more geese on that side    
       
 Why do cows wear bells?
 Because their horns don’t work    
       For More SMS Jokes and Funny Text Messages Click Here

Wrong Person Messages June 16, 2006

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Wrong Person SMS Messages

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

For More SMS Jokes Click Here

Reason Why Jokes June 16, 2006

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Reason Why Jokes

REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children 4)any guy can get a good lookin dog!

3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds!

Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market!

Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of crap

5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!

For More SMS Jokes and Funny Text Messages Click Here

Pick Up Lines June 16, 2006

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Pick Up Lines

Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.

I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

I’m good at math, U+I=69

I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac’s.

More SMS Pick up Lines – Click Here

Word Play SMS June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Uncategorized, Word Play SMS.
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Word Play SMS

 

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: “noh ss!w !”. it didn’t make much sense until i read it upside down…

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

For More Word Play SMS Click Here

Put-downs June 16, 2006

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Put-downs  SMS

☻You do sure have a lot of Well-wishers. They’d all like to throw you down one…☻Somebody said to me that you ain’t fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs.For More Word Play SMS Click Here
 

TEXT SMS INSULTS June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Text Insults, Uncategorized.
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TEXT SMS INSULTS

KILL THAT LOSER WITH SOME CRACKING TXT INSULTS

Them:
You:
 
Here’s 10p – go and tell your mum you’re not coming home
Here’s a pound – go and buy yourself some breath freshener
Haven’t I seen your face before – on a police poster?
Look who’s talking – I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
I think the sun shines out of your arse.
Well, you’re living proof that even a turd can be polished.
Let’s be honest with each other . . . we’ve both come here for the same reasons.
Yes, you’re right. Let’s go and pull some girls.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing
For More Text SMS Insults – Click Here

Funny Phrases June 16, 2006

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Funny SMS Phrases
☻As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition☻She’s angrier than a Bear with a sore head☻She’s dressed up like a Dogs dinner

☻About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.

For more SMS Funny Phrases – Click Here

Funny Sayings June 16, 2006

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Funny Sayings

☻Lights on, door open, nobody at home☻As confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.☻He’s as bent as a butchers hook

☻He’s as happy as a Pig in $hit

For More Funny SMS Sayings- Click Here

Come backs June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Comebacks, Uncategorized.
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Come backs - SMS


Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants.
Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking…for a Gorilla, that is…
Do you notice how I’ve kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see…all spotty
Man: Your place or mine?

To See The Funny Answer and more SMS Come Backs Visit- FunPost.Net

One Liners June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in One Liners, Uncategorized.
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One Liners

Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly…well enough about ME! How are you? 

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!  

How do u occupy an idiot? Press down – Press up…Press Down…! 

***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1
… No Strings attached
…but for a limited period ONLY!
…A bloody good deal! 

Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H 

FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated…calibration complete, now searching…..still searching….still searching……sorry, no friends found. 

Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I’ll tel U l8r. 

More SMS One Liners- Click Here

Silly Quotes June 16, 2006

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SMS Silly Quotes

Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature

All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!

if barbie is so popular….then y do u have 2 buy her friends?

I intend to live forever- so far so good

For More SMS Silly Quotes visit Fun Post

Blonde Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Blonde sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Blonde Jokes

Q : Why are blonde jokes so short?
A : So men can remember them. 
  
Q : Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
A : Because they can understand them 
  
Q : How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
A : Shine a flashlight in their ear. 
      
Q : What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A : They’re both empty from the neck up. 
Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

For a hundred more Blonde SMS Jokes visit Fun Post

Nursery Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Nursery sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Nursery Jokes

Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you prat i live in a flat so how the damn do i know.

Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.

Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned it into nylon

Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!

For More SMS Jokes Visit – FunPost

Mama Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Mama sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Mama Jokes

 

Yo Star Trek nerd so hairy she make Chewbacca look like Jean Luc Picard.

Your house is so disgusting that I tripped over a rat, got bitten by a tarantula and to top it off – the cockroaches nicked ma wallet…

I saw Yo mama at the freak show petting the world’s largest wilderbeast.

For a Hundred More Yo MAMA Jokes Click Here

Marriage Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Marriage sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Marriage Jokes


Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!).Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. A woman was telling her friend , “It was I who made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
The woman replied, ” A multi-millionaire”.
There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation – “If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels.”
 



Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
For the Answer and more Marriage Jokes Visit- FunPost

Crude Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Crude sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Crude Jokes
Kiss’s r blown + kiss’s r wasted kiss’s rnt kiss’s unless they r tasted, kiss’s spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated! How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!

last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky…. then I thought where the fuck is my roof??

mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right nowcos its got foot and mouthWhat is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop

This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you

For More SMS and TXT Jokes Visit – FunPost

Cool Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Cool sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Cool SMS Jokes

MATCHES

MuM: Have you brought the matches home? Son: Yes! Mum: Are they working??? Son: Yes! I have try up all the fire macthes… It’s working.

KNOWING YOURSELF

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

WHO YOU TRUST

There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

 

GRATEFUL

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

For More Cool SMS Jokes and Funny TXT Visit – FunPost

Adult Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Adult sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Adult SMS Jokes
Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!

Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up
above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let
me suck you, dont feel shy. 

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

For More Mature Jokes Visit – FunPost

Love Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Love sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Love Jokes

YOUR SMILE

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

WHO YOU ARE

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

I’M STILL ALIVE…

TaLk 2 me wHen i’m boReD, kiSS me wHen i’m saD, hug me wHen i cRy, caRe 4 me wHen i diE, loVe me When i’m sTill Alive…

IN LOVE WITH YOU

It is not being in love that makes me happy… but is being in love with YOU that makes me happy.

TRULY LOVE

It’s hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less to find someone who loves you as much. When the chance comes, don’t ever let go.

CHER|SH…

Cherish the person you love, never tell lies or attempt to hurt them because you won’t know how important they are until they are out of your life…


 For More Love SMS – Visit FunPost

Erotic Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Erotic sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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Erotic Jokes

3 GOOD MANNERS
3 good manners of male penis. 1)Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance.
MISTAKES
Learn from your parents’ mistakes – Use birth control!

For more SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost

Sex Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Sex sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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SEX
SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U’ll enjoy it! I’ll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.
SEX ON TEXT
Press down… down more… Ok more… YES ahh ohh yes… almost there… yeah oh shit harder… SO GOOD…! mmmmm… That’s how I sex on text!
YOU ARE WANTED
The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking… So where are you gonna hide Me?
TALKING DIRTY
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.

For More SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost

Indecent Jokes June 16, 2006

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Indecent Jokes

This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again…… Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well…Enough about ME! How about you? Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly! sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temtation, putting his location in a woman’s destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

For More SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost

Funny Jokes June 16, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Funny sms Jokes, Uncategorized.
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We will now upgrade your brain, please wait….Searching….searching…still searching….sorry,NO BRAIN found…!I’M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS YOU ARE READING I’M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING


All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.

 

For More SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – Visit FunPost

Friendship Jokes June 16, 2006

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FRIENDSHIP TEST…
thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN’t cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe…
FRIENDS
True friends are like Diamonds… they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves… they are scattered everywhere.

For more SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost

Funniest Pun SMS Jokes :) May 31, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Pun SMS Jokes.
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       :)

  • The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 
  • Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor. 
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired. 
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 
  • What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine. 
    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
  • Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 
  • He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. 
  • Prison walls are never built to scale. 
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. 
  • When one is afflicted with loss of balance they never quite know vertigo.
  • When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 

 :)

 

  •  For more SMS Jokes and Funny TXT – visit FunPost

The decent ones May 25, 2006

Posted by Anonymous in Decent Jokes, Most Popular, Uncategorized.
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☻ KNOWING YOURSELF
 
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.                                                            
 
☻ WHO YOU TRUST
 
There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
 

☻ GRATEFUL
 
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
 
  For More SMS Jokes and Funny Txt – visit FunPost

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